NEW: My Telephone Doesn’t Work (Grandmaster Scott and Dynamic 3 vs Missy Elliott vs Kraftwerk vs Coldcut featuring Lisa Stansfield)

And to show I’m not dead, it’s my *fairly-new electro-tastic and Missy-reviving tune…basically the story goes a little something like this:

In 1983 or 4 a little known electro-hip-hop act called Grandmaster Scott and Dynamic 3 (they did the oft-copied ‘The Roof is On Fire’) recorded a track called ‘Request Line’ – now you probably know where this is going – Missy Eliott sampled this for her hit a couple of years back, ‘Work It’. Here I reunited the long-lost-cousins with some other classic electro/house tracks – ‘Telephone Call’ by Kraftwerk and Coldcut’s classic ‘My Telephone’ from their first LP with Lisa Stansfield on vocals.

This originally was intended to be a longer mix ‘Telephonic Symphony/Sympathy’ – a bit like the Money mix on Radio Clash; but ended up being this bootleg

My Telephone Doesn’t Work

*unless you knew where to err, dig that is 😉

London Booted – Spanish Bombs (Over Baghdad) (The Clash vs Outkast)

London Booted – cover Clash mashups Spanish Bombs (Over Baghdad) Instamatic

In honour of the 25th anniversary of Clash’s London Booted Richie over at CultureDeluxe decided to get everyone to mash up the whole album, Grey Album stylee back in Jan/Feb 04…I got ‘Spanish Bombs’, which was a very Strummer polemic about Lorca, the Spanish Civil War and ETA…I prevaricated (even wrote long words like that) until the night I was actually starting it the Madrid bombs went off – so I had 2 choices…either be silly or make a point, but the latter seemed forced on me, really.

It’s a topical political mashup, using Outkast’s Bombs Over Baghdad with the Clash…got quite a few comments about this on blogs and Boing Boing, and even reviews in Catalan Yahoo (which I couldn’t read – well have YOU ever seen Catalan as one of the options over at Babelfish?!?)

The London Booted site is currently down, but apparently this and the other tracks might be err ‘seen’ again later this year…I’m saying no more :-X

Spanish Bombs (Over Baghdad) from London Booted

Bootie pt 2 – Smells Like Sylvester (Nirvana vs Sylvester)


At Bootie I had a great time, met loads of great local bootleggers – some of the US’s best DJs and remixers – such as Adrian and Mysterious D, DJ Tripp, Partyben, Matt Hite, Dada and loads others….I was staying with DJ Jay-R – I still miss SF and hope to get back there soon. I was proud to be the first English bootlegger to play there (I think that’s right?) and I seem to have started a trend what with GHP, Payroll and Lionel Vinyl all going out to play since then! (not that I’m in their category, oh no…but I’m really proud that I was one of the early international guests at Bootie :-D) .

Smells Like Sylvester gets an honourable mention because it got me my airplay on XFM; and was my intro for Bootie. It’s Nirvana vs Sylvester ‘Mighty Real’ and the intro is Sandra Bernhard’s great tribute to the gold-lamed afro’d one. This is the rare full version played on the night, which mixes in Pansy Division’s ‘Smells Like Queer Spirit’ – the shorter version was the one played on XFM.

Bootie pt one – TripleSpin (Marilyn Manson vs Dead or Alive vs Hi Tek 3 featuring Ya Kid K)


The next two were done for Bootie – I DJed at Bootie in San Francisco in September 2004, was a big thing for me, my first international gig and it went down well…which is good cos I was shitting myself. 😉

Triple Spin is so called because it comprises a trilogy of ‘Spin’ tunes – the I-Blame-The-Toitles classic ‘Spin That Wheel’ by Hi Tek 3 featuring Ya Kid K over the top of Marilyn Manson’s ‘Spin Me Round (Like A Record) ‘ and the Dead or Alive original mixed in for good measure. What is it with Marilyn and goth-guitar cover versions? Anyway this is one of my faves…and then follows…

Godlife (off Parkspliced) (Blur vs Beach Boys)

Parkspliced cover - the dog's apparently called Rocco by the way

Parkspliced was a remix album in the vein of grey Album and London Booted…oh funny I mention that 😉 and I took on the title track ‘Parklife’ and added the Acapella of Doom itself, ‘God Only Knows’ by the Beach Boys.

Available here because it’s now not available anywhere else, it has some tuning issues but I still like it, in that ugly-child-kind-of-way…You should’ve heard what it could’ve been (Queens in the Park – George Michael ‘Outside’ vs Parklife!)

I think the ‘b’ side -‘Golden Beard’ released as ‘tbc’ and available here also was more successful. Oh and I did the album art which was a hit so I felt better for that – used on Boing Boing and a few other sites :-D)

GodLife (Beach Boys vs Blur)

Ludakris (Kriss Kross vs Ludacris)


As requested here’s the one boot I know has been played on radio in the US and other places (was part of Flounder’s Boots of 2004 on DC101) and goes down a storm on the dancefloor, be it San Francisco or London or Australia…(now yer showing off, well not been to Oz anyway ;-).

It’s a fun nostalgic dancefloor-friendly hiphop boot, does what it says on the tin. If it was in a tin that is (?)

It’s totally LudaKris (Ludacris ‘Stand Up’ & ‘Gossip Folks’ vs Kriss Kross ‘Jump Around’). Enjoy.


Welcome to the new Instamatic site. Here’ll post my newer and older boots, including some (hopefully) classics.

Return of DJ No – Stripper Jackson (Michael Jackson vs Joe Loss)

In support of dat mighty King of Pop up on kiddie-fiddler charges, yeah Joe Loss, I’ve created dis mash wiv sum bloke called Michael Jackson. ???
Never heard of im, but ahm sure ill do well, especially if e stays away from dem kiddiez…like tha SK1llzMaster J-Loss did! Have you ever heard J-Loss From Da Block? Classick!

So free Joe Loss! im innocent, I tell ya!

This is part of da minty-fresh nu No sound (Accordions wuz tha nu Rock n Roll, but that SO old, ya kno?) and the new EP out soon – ‘Cha Cha is the New Rock n Roll’ and dis is the 1st install-e-ment as dey say in abroad like in Franz. Or whatever.

oi! here is: Stripper Jackson (Joe Loss ‘The Stripper’ vz Michael Jackson ‘The Way You make me Feel’, it sez ere)

have a good ‘un

DJ No.